The Whole of You (That Transcends The Fragments)

By Don Goewey

There are four qualities I have identified in my book, Mystic Cool, that together form a powerful attitude that can rewire your brain for an immunity to stress. One of the four qualities is wholeness.  Wholeness is the enduring sense of who and what you are that transcends the fragmentation stress seems to make of us .

How do we transcend the fragmentation that demands and pressures produce? How do we transcend the split mind that fear causes and the threatening world fear perceives that won’t let us rest or feel safe? How do we get above the shattering effect of the critical voice that harps on our faults and mistakes and says we’re never good enough?  The answer is simple. It is so simple, we think it’s silly.  At least until we try it.

The experience of yourself as whole comes from loving yourself exactly as you are. It is loving life just the way it is, even if you think life sucks at the moment.   Wholeness is the total acceptance of everything in you and around exactly as it is, right here, right now.

It is the affirmation and acceptance of the man or woman you are and are becoming, encompassing the whole of you — your blunders and successes, your strengths and weaknesses, your joys and sorrows, your brilliance and your absurdities, your integrity and your contradictions.

Wholeness is not a destination; it is the journey. It is the sense of perfection emerging from all the imperfections. It is a true blue moment in which the authentic person that is you is felt by you, opens wide in you, and is welcomed into the heart of all that is. A few seconds of standing in that heart can change a life entirely. The place where the whole of you resides could not be closer. It is accessed through your openness to your immediate experience, whatever that experience may be.

Take a moment right now and love yourself just the way you are. Give it a try. If it makes you feel silly initially, then be open to that. Love the brilliant part along with the flawed, but love the flawed part too. Love your life just the way it is and where it is. See who you become when you open to yourself in this simple manner.

If we judge, reject, or feel conflict with our present experience, the sense of wholeness will instantly fragment. This, unfortunately, is the way it tends go for most of us. We end up feeling discouraged and separate and develop a slavish concern for the evaluations of others. It can reach the point where we have no genuine sense of who we really are.

Most of us are skillful at judging ourselves but not very adept at loving ourselves. So, today I invite you to heal this condition by giving this new approach a try. Dedicate this week to loving yourself exactly the way you are. Love your life exactly as it is, where it is.  Then see what happens to your experience of life and work.  See what happens to the way you relate to others.


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