This unique mind-set began a cycle of distinct behaviors, characteristics, emotions, and escapes in million of men. I have termed these men “insatiable” because their appetites are never appeased. Their heritage has left them hungry for contentment and meaning in life. However, they will never achieve these using the tools acquired in childhood. Insatiable male characteristics have resulted in a generation of men who ultimately are disappointed with success and life.
Hyper-responsibility: All insatiable males develop a sense of hyper-responsibility. He over-steps the boundaries of normal responsibilities and takes on responsibility that belong to others. He makes people dependent on him for all the answers or to take care of them. He becomes the “rescuer” who needs to pull the wagon, while others take the ride. In the workplace, he will likely feel it’s up to him to solve problems and answer everyone’s questions. At home, he feels he is in charge of everyone’s happiness and entertainment.
The Need to Please: The insatiable male generally likes to please people, but compromises himself to oblige others. They will often say “yes” to things they need to say “no” to. The positive feedback he receives from people-pleasing feeds the image of success he has formulated. After years of people pleasing he finds himself getting fed-up and frustrated with people. In contrast, they feel guilty because everyone cannot be pleased.
The Need to Prove Himself: Insatiable males are constantly harassed with an inner feeling of inadequacy. This feeling will often result in taking on far more than he can accomplish. He attacks every effort, whether at home, at the office, or in the health club, with a vengeance.
Insatiable males work longer and harder than anyone else. Even when he plays, he plays to win. He hopes, with every accomplishment, to reach a point of contentment. He may feel better for a short time, but soon that old nagging inadequacy cries out for a new “fix.”
Dominate Emotions of the insatiable male: Through the years, the insatiable male develops an enormous amount of performance anxiety. He feels as if he’s always on stage – always performing. This performance treadmill results in an undercurrent of anger and agitation. He “stuffs” it because expressing anger would be displeasing to people around him. Around mid-life it becomes too intense to be contained and it oozes out in the form of irritability. He can’t express it at the office, so family members fall likely victims to his emotion.
Insatiable males experience guilt from their inability to please everyone. If he’s at work, he feels guilty because he should spend more time at home. If he’s at home, he feels guilty because he’s neglecting his work.
As the years roll by they progressively feel a great deal of dissatisfaction with their lives. They expend a lot of energy trying to find satisfaction, but experience emptiness with their failure to do so.