By Ron Shapiro

Negotiations deadlock for many reasons.  When both sides refuse to budge, it’s time to be creative.  Here are some guidelines to get the other side talking again:

• Start Over.  When Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev deadlocked during arms talks, Reagan reached across the table and said, “Hello, Mikhail, my name is Ron, and I think it’s time we talked about the arms race.”  This broke the tension and led to meaningful discussions.
• Keep a Secret.  Some negotiations stall because negotiators want to please third parties (such as bosses).  If you suspect this, assure the other person that you’ll keep the conversation’s details confidential.  The negotiator won’t worry that something he says will get back to the boss.
• Recount interests.  Don’t talk about positions – focus on each side’s real needs.  Say, for example, “It seems you’re most interested in delivery to meet your customers’ timetable.”  If the other party agrees, ask, “What do you think are my main interests?”  Highlighting the main interests, rather than side issues, helps you create room for new solutions.

Excerpted from The Power of Nice.  Ronald M. Shapiro and Mark A. Jankowski.

By Ron Shapiro

Often participants in our programs voice the following frustration: “How can you possibly achieve a Win-Win result when you are in a weak position? When the other side holds all of the cards, isn’t it impossible to be an effective negotiator?” I believe the most effective negotiators are able to use their skills, both when they have the leverage, as well as when they don’t. In order to be more effective when you are in a weak position, I suggest the following:

Check Your Assumptions:
If you perceive yourself to be in a weak position the other side will too. Do yourself a favor and check your assumptions. Do you need to know the other side’s strengths? Very definitely! However, if you take the time to identify their weaknesses you may very well discover strengths in your own position of which you were previously unaware.

Something else to consider…make a list and talk it over with a friend. By discussing an itemized list of your personal strengths and weaknesses (and those of the other side) you will benefit from someone else’s objective input and avoid make incorrect assumptions about your own position.
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By Ron Shapiro

In our seminars, we are often asked how to be more effective while negotiating over the telephone.  Being prepared is a key element in any negotiation.  For instance, if you were heading into a three-hour negotiation session, you would have likely spent the prior day assembling materials and creating an agenda.  At the very least, you would have had an opportunity to gather your thoughts on the way to the meeting.

The problem with telephone negotiations is that sometimes you can be caught off guard.  It is possible that you may be completely involved in another matter when the other side calls to engage you in a negotiation session.  You can assume that they have had the opportunity to prepare and have all the pertinent material in front of them.  Far too often the tendency is to “wing-it” and enter into the telephone negotiation without any preparation.  We strongly suggest that you resist the temptation and try the following:
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By Ron Shapiro

Whenever we ask participants about their biggest negotiation challenges, we are told that dealing with difficult negotiators is at the top of the list.  “Sure this “win-win” approach is nice, and it probably would work if I was negotiating with a nice person.  But let me tell you, [my boss], [my client], [my spouse] is one of the most difficult people you will ever meet, and the only way to deal with them is to fight fire with fire.

Well, as Abigail Johnson said, “When you fight fire with fire, you usually end up with ashes.”  (check quote in the workbook under “win-lose” negotiation)  I have negotiated with some of the toughest negotiators in my time, George Steinbrenner, Edward Bennett Williams, and Ted Turner to name a few.  No matter how nasty and difficult they become, however, I never lost my cool and I use my Three Ps method and a “win-win” approach, because I understand that, even with a difficult negotiator, the best way to get what I want is to help them get what they want.
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