David Ryback, PhD.

 

Learned Optimism or Learned Pessimism? It’s Your Choice!

by David Ryback, Ph.D.

Pessimists may indeed feel more anxious about social acceptance. They may feel more anxious about many things not going well, big and small. Psychologists have a term Learned Optimism or Learned Pessimism?for such individuals when they suffer from this in the extreme – neurotic. We don’t like that term because it connotes something very bad, when all it’s meant to point out is that some people have a greater tendency to become anxious about small things than others. For example, some people tend spend much more time on their work than they need to in order to ease their fear of being fired because they don’t appear “perfect”.

In the workplace, this tendency can come across as undue attention to details that are clearly irrelevant to bottom-line success. Sometimes it comes across as a control issue, particularly when foisted on underlings. For example, if the boss is a stickler for details that don’t matter in most people’s opinions, then it appears much effort is misplaced and subordinates feel frustrated about wasting their energy when more important things are being ignored. Learn More »

How Optimism Works in Our Relationships

by David Ryback, Ph.D.

Meaning comes from finding value in your experience of life, primarily in the relationships with those with whom you interact on a daily basis.  Optimism is the result of taking hold of How Optimism Works in Our Relationshipsthe uncertainties that life offers you and creating success by taking charge of the details under your control.  What about the claim that optimists just deny the gravity of harsh reality?  It turns out, on close inspections, even in the face of disaster optimists are less crushed than pessimists.

How does an optimist differ from a pessimist?  Most of us are familiar with the credo to change what we can, accept what we can’t, and “have the wisdom to know the difference.”  The wisdom of the pessimist usually errs on the side of “can’t”, while the optimist is earnest in changing almost anything, unwilling to yield to the “can’t” category.  The pessimist plays up the possible negative outcomes; the optimist takes charge in creating positive outcomes.  A pessimist loses energy quickly when faced with a challenge; the optimist creates a momentum that is not easily stopped.  The optimist looks for what is possible to change and dives right in with energetic zeal.  Once a complete attempt has been made to change a situation for the better, only then does the optimist accept what cannot be changed and does so with equanimity.

To sum it up, pessimists get carried away by extra time spent on routines that distract from the relevant realities of life, and any activities that make them feel that they’re delaying the inevitable disappointments in life.  Optimists get on with life to make room for the next good thing.

If you found these tips from David Ryback, Ph.D. of value and are a PMP looking to earn PMI PDUs, you might be interested in his self-paced, downloadable courses at PDUs2Go.com.

____________________________________________________________

Are you running out of steam as a PMP Project Manager? Download our FREE course “4 Ways to Stay Energized as a PMP Project Manager” and get yourself motivated again! This 1 Category A PDU course will teach you 4 things you can start doing today that will recharge your PMP Project Manager batteries and keep your career climbing.

PDUs2Go.com can help you maintain your PMP Certification whether you need one PMP PDU or 60 PMP PDUs. Try 1 PMP PDU for FREE and see how easy it is to Earn n’ Learn™ while in your car, in your office, by the pool, or on the road! 1 PDU – a $37 Value for FREE!

Dissembling: The Art of Hiding Your Feelings…Good or Bad?

by David Ryback, Ph.D.

Being your real self in the workplace with Relationship Building does not mean blatant spontaneity. Most important is the sense of appropriateness and timing that makes such openness The Art of Hiding Your Feelings…Good or Bad?acceptable. It involves, first of all, keeping close track of how you’re feeling from moment to moment, and only then sharing your feelings in the context that can benefit from such sharing. There is indeed a fine line between dissembling your emotions to fit into the context on the one hand, and having the courage to share what you truly feel even though it may not find instant understanding and acceptance. If your intent is to be of service to others, then the intimate sharing of what may not immediately find acceptance will, in the long run, stand you in good stead, as the judgment you reveal becomes respected over time.

Adolescent Relationship Building

The skill of gaining over total emotional spontaneity grows over the span of the elementary school years. By adolescence, this skill is finely tuned. Social acceptance is so critical at this stage that emotional dissembling becomes the modus operandi of social success. Children who fail at this social skill may end up friendless and marginalized. If Nancy fails to curb her short temper and bossy demands, she may be ostracized by her peers. If Peter cowers at the prospect of confronting those who tease or harass him, he may lose face in his group and be seen as an outsider.

Adult Relationship Building

In the adult world, dissembling still plays a significant role. One doesn’t just mouth off to an aggressive boss. Nor does the boss casually mouth off to a lazy employee. In the workplace, dissembling such emotions as anger and anxiety is essential. But when the more moderate emotions are also hidden, then the question of degree comes into play: how much dissembling and how much authentic emotion is required to build a strong connection?

If you found these tips from David Ryback, Ph.D. of value and are a PMP looking to earn PMI PDUs, you might be interested in his self-paced, downloadable courses at PDUs2Go.com.

________________________________________________________________

Are you running out of steam as a PMP Project Manager? Download our FREE course “4 Ways to Stay Energized as a PMP Project Manager” and get yourself motivated again! This 1 Category A PDU course will teach you 4 things you can start doing today that will recharge your PMP Project Manager batteries and keep your career climbing.

PDUs2Go.com can help you maintain your PMP Certification whether you need one PMP PDU or 60 PMP PDUs. Try 1 PMP PDU for FREE and see how easy it is to Earn n’ Learn™ while in your car, in your office, by the pool, or on the road! 1 PDU – a $37 Value for FREE!

The Power of Authenticity

by David Ryback, Ph.D.

Our brain is a complex organ. The headline on how it works is that there is the old brain that deals primarily with emotions. The emerging news is the discovery of the importance of a The New Brainsmall structure residing in both sides of the head-the amygdale-where we process new perceptions that might be threats, for example, all new people we meet, including new clients and customers. When the threat is great enough, we have “amygdale hijack,” when the threatening information goes directly to the amygdalae, short-circuiting the thinking frontal cortex and resulting in “thoughtless” or irrational impulsive reaction.

The other part, the new brain, more recently evolved, is where thought, planning, and mental control reside. Here, in the prefrontal cerebral cortex, just behind the forehead, we employ the skills of effective communication whenever the power of persuasion is called for (as in management, sales, production). Learn More »

 
 
 
PMI Logo1 Powered by PDUs2Go.com, Inc. | Copyright © 2007 - 2017, PDUs2Go.com, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

"PMBOK, PMI, PMP and REP" are trademarks, service marks or certification marks of the Project Management Institute Inc.
PDUs2Go.com Inc. | 3500 Lenox Road, Suite 1500 | Atlanta, GA 30326 | 404-815-4644