By Caroline Nightbird

At our core we are all emotional beings. Virtually every decision, reaction and behavior comes, on some level, from an emotional need or desire. While we love to see ourselves as essentially logical, rational, pragmatic creatures, the truth is, often we’re not. For the most part, we are overwhelmingly emotional beings.

Let’s pretend for a moment that you have a finite amount of emotional currency to spend each week (just like the wages you earn from work) and that you need to invest those dollars wisely to ensure the best possible return. Of course, we could argue back and forth about the notion of having a finite amount of emotional dollars to spend each day or week, but I think we can safely say that our emotional bank account is not some bottomless pit. It can run out from time to time. And for many people it does – sometimes for months or years at a time. I think we all know people who have invested their emotional dollars poorly and have suffered the consequences of living on or below the emotional poverty line.

What happens with most emotional investments is this little issue called “life”. We make the investment, expect a return, and then watch as life changes the rules. A double blow if the investment fails to return. What we need to explore is balance, common sense, and a little less attachment (all your eggs in one basket). By simply remembering you are not a bottomless pit of energy, you will begin to question what (or who) you invest your emotions in and hopefully avoid the huge disappointments that happen when your expectations are dashed.

By Caroline Nightbird

So, what are the positive effects of stress?

Good stress -termed “Eustress” - is the spark that drives us to achieve more, to improve the quality of our life, to ask for a raise, to fight for justice, or simply to go on a holiday. Challenges, thrills, and excitement are all stress responses, but in a good way.

Stress pushes you to grow, to change, to fight, and to adapt. All life events, even positive ones, cause a certain degree of stress. For example getting a new job is a positive change, getting married, falling in love, getting a raise, winning a tennis match.

The challenge of a new situation and the stimulation that it creates might be beneficial to someone’s life. It may propel someone to take a risk and take a course at University, or to go out and meet new people, to take on a new hobby, or to learn new sport.

Too little stress leads to boredom. Lack of motivation. Unfulfilled dreams and desires. Not reaching your potential. Low self esteem.

By Caroline Nightbird

The belief that perfection can be achieved affects the lives of countless numbers of people. Many people are obsessed with achieving perfection to the point that it affects their physical and psychological well being. These individuals are commonly referred to as “perfectionists.” They seek the perfect mate, the perfect job, the perfect body, and they are often unhappy in their quest. Even the most mundane task can become an ordeal since the task must be performed to an exacting standard. These people experience disappointment and dissatisfaction and are often unable to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. They believe that perfection is attainable; they experience falling short of the goal as failure. These individuals spend an inordinate amount of time trying to make certain that they will avoid making mistakes.

Perfection is meant to be an abstract ideal toward which we strive in an attempt to gain proficiency and to excel. It is a concept designed to spur us on to greater heights. The meaning of the word perfection is illustrated by the phrase “striving toward perfection.” Few people who adopt seeking perfection as a value (as opposed to achieving perfection) expect to achieve it. Seeking perfection merely connotes that process of moving closer to an abstract ideal.

By Caroline Nightbird

Multitasking messes with the brain in several ways. At the most basic level, the mental balancing acts that it requires — the constant switching and pivoting — energize regions of the brain that specialize in visual processing and physical coordination and simultaneously appear to shortchange some of the higher areas related to memory and learning. We concentrate on the act of concentration at the expense of whatever it is that we’re supposed to be concentrating on… studies find that multitasking boosts the level of stress-related hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline and wears down our systems through biochemical friction, prematurely aging us. In the short term, the confusion, fatigue, and chaos merely hamper our ability to focus and analyze, but in the long term, they may cause it to atrophy.

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By Caroline Nightbird

How many times have you had the thought “this is good” and within a relatively short period of time, had an accompanied thought of “this is bad”? This is the law of relativity. “For every action there is an equal reaction” so for every thought you have discerning a situation or experience, there will quickly be a reactive thought showing you the paradox of life, of which the majority of us resist with great indignation.

Learning how not to judge is an impossible task when we exist in a paradoxical reality. The fear of separation is a maniacal force, which perpetuates judgment. Even this statement, and this article is in polarity to itself. The only way out of paradox (if there is such a movement) is to understand what is fixed, and observe the natural movement of the fulcrum to swinging back and forth.

As with any fulcrum or bar there is a position in the middle, which seems to stay motionless. This “middle space” is what the eastern religions practice tirelessly to achieve. It is the space of least resistance; it is the still point of observance. In this space you can “watch” both sides move up and down while your awareness stays still…just watching.

By Caroline Nightbird

In the many years of my practice as a psychotherapist it is becoming more and more obvious that most people suffer from some type of PTSD (moderate to extreme) and don’t even know it. It is VITAL that we become aware of our lives and how we are living them in order to heal.

Post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms can come and go. (more…)